There is something I want. Something I have wanted for several years now, but I don’t yet have it. Can anyone relate?
Every so often, I find myself bargaining with God.
Me: God, if you let me have this one thing…just think of how much extra time I will have to devote to you…I could attend a Bible study, maybe even teach one…I could join the choir…I could…and on and on it goes.
Now I know that this is not the proper attitude to have. But, I’m just telling you, sometimes this is the road my heart leads me down.
This morning, however, I was reminded of something a former pastor once said. It has been many years, but it just buried itself in my heart and God often brings it back to my mind when I start to feel sorry for myself over something I don’t have that I think I need. I don’t remember the sermon title or text, but I remember Bro. Robert saying:
“Jesus, if there was no heaven…I would love you anyway because of what you did for me on the cross.”
Wow. That just hit me so hard and, 10 years later, I still remember it clearly. In fact, I remember writing a poem on the bulletin as I sat there in the pew and I can still quote one little part:
If the only gift you ever gave was the blood that stained the cross…Still I would love you to my dying day, no matter what the cost
Every day around 5:30 p.m. my world is a little crazy. I have just walked in the door from work and I’m trying to get supper ready and throw a load of laundry in and give the appropriate amount of attention to two children who have not seen their mommy all day. I know I’m not telling you moms out there anything new, but…it’s a stressful time. Emily wants a drink. Ella wants to be held. Emily wants a snack. Ella wants to be held. Emily wants to play play-doh. Ella wants to be held.
There is always a point in time (around 5:32 p.m.) where I turn to Emily and say: “Please do not ask me for anything else. I am only one person.”
Boy, am I thankful that God never says that. Never does He say: “Okay, Stacy, you’ve reached your limit. Do not ask me for anything else.” I mean, God wants us to come to him with our needs and desires. How awesome is that? That there is no limit to how many times we can come to God.
Yet, I believe, it would bless God’s heart to know that if He never gave me another thing…I would love Him anyway. Because, after all, nothing He could give to me now could compare to what He already gave when He watched His Son die upon the cross.
So…I am going to continue to place my requests at the foot of the throne because God loves me and wants good things for me. But I also know that, if He never gave me another thing other than what He already has…I would love Him anyway.