Insecurity…Don’t pass it on.

Someone asked me the other day if it felt weird to see myself in my daughters…you know, a mini-me following me everywhere I go.  I see it especially with my oldest right now.  She looks just like me.  Her mannerisms are just like mine.  There are parts of her that are clearly me.

She is who she is, partly, because of me.

Sometimes, she’s really bold.  Often, she’s silly.  She’s compassionate and kind.

But lately…I’ve seen something else in her.  I’ve noticed the beginnings of…insecurity.  And I cringe.  Did she get that from me?

I’ve lived a lifetime of insecurity.  Never thinking I was pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough…just never enough.  Of all the things I want to teach my girls – that is not one of them.  So, I am constantly telling them how special they are.  I make sure they hear me say how beautiful they are and how proud I am to be their mother.  I want them to be secure in who they are and in the One who made them – fearfully and wonderfully.

Those little girls – they are watching me.

I want to believe and live for myself the things that I am trying to instill in them.

I am beautiful to Him.

The king is enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord.
– Psalm 45:11

I am loved.

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”
– Jeremiah 31:3

I need to say, So long insecurity, you’ve been a bad, bad friend.

🙂  Stacy

*Re-post from the archives (Happy Friday, friends)
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14 thoughts on “Insecurity…Don’t pass it on.

  1. JLI says:

    I was going to ask if you had that book or had read it yet! I have it, but only got through the first chapter before putting it down. A book has to grab my attention hard & fast for me to really stick with it. I’m not a book snob, because I’m sure it’s a great book, but reading is not my favorite thing to do. 🙂

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  2. Star says:

    I can totally relate! I am making a huge effort with my daughter to assure her and make her feel loved and accepted and get those verses instilled not only in her brain but in her heart!

    Like

    • Stacy says:

      Ah, it’s such a responsibility raising daughters to know their worth and to be confident in who they are in Christ. It’s more than worth the effort. Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

  3. Lea Culp says:

    Oh,what a sweet, sweet entry! Blessings to you as you strive to rid yourself of those insecurities. God is certainly able to deliver you and I pray you will feel His security surrounding you. You are special and blessings for a wonderful week-end.

    Like

  4. Carol H. says:

    I too come from a lack of self-esteem. It has helped me not pass on this trait by remembering “perception is a choice.” (I’m not sure why but it took me years to realize that how we perceive ourselves is a choice!) So I have taught this concept mostly by talking out loud to myself. Modeling the type of wording that I’d like them to use on themselves.
    I hope that my kids have learned that our thoughts and feelings create our reality. For more on this concept I suggest a book called “Teaching the Attraction Principle to Children” by Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman.

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    • Stacy says:

      My husband and I had this same conversation just the other night. I tend to beat myself up verbally. I’m making a commitment to myself to not speak those negative things. I’m trying to do as the Bible instructs and “take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.” It’s difficult, but so important.

      Thanks for stopping by! Hope you have a great day.

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  5. alece says:

    i want the words of song of solomon 4:7 to sink down deep in both of our hearts, friend — God’s whispered words to us: “all beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”

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  6. dianadenis says:

    What an important reminder! I’m making a note of those scriptures.

    If I can encourage you for a minute…I have 3 daughters also and as teens they’re now hyper aware of how my behaviors and words have shaped them. When they’re short tempered (i’m admittedly a work in progress) it’s not so great. BUT, when they’re faced with one of those tough choices teens face they often tell me “mom, it’s crazy how I heard your voice in my head” or they admit considering I would handle the situation…it’s heavenly! For the few areas we fail to shine or we’re still working on there are plenty of other areas where the Holy Spirit is showing them to make a note. As Christian women, armed with the power of the Holy Spirit, we have a significant advantage and so will our children:)

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    • Stacy says:

      Thanks for the encouragement! I always love hearing from moms of daughters, especially teens as I am so frightened at dealing with the things teens girls face these days. It’s a constant matter of prayer! I hope you have a great week!

      Like

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