Overwhelmed by the Ugly

I am just overwhelmed by the ugly that seems to permeate this world. I want to keep my babes in the house, pull down the blinds, watch Little House on the Prairie and wait for Jesus to come back. I feel completely helpless in the face of all of the brokenness. There have been instances where I have stormed the gates of heaven with my prayers and the outcome was still not as I had hoped. I get discouraged and weary. Some days, I just want to go home.cross

I picture the men on the road to Emmaus. They were men who had believed, but did not fully understand. The man whom they had followed and believed in was dead. Though they had heard rumors of the resurrection, they just were not sure. I can feel the dust on the road and the heaviness of their hearts as they confess their disappointment.

But we had hoped that he was the one… – Luke 24:21

There have been times when my prayers were fervent and frequent and, yet, the marriage still fell apart or the person was not healed or that mama still buried her baby. And I confess that I do not understand because I had hoped. Scripture says that hope deferred makes the heart sick. I guess that is what I am – a little heartsick.

Here is what I know. My love of the Lord is not based on him doing what I had hoped he would do for me. When I do not understand what he has allowed to happen, I go back to what I know to be true of him. I remind myself of what he has already done for me. The cross was enough. If he never did another thing for me – that one act is worthy of all of my devotion. If there was no heaven, I would love him anyway.

That is what I go back to when fresh wounds are inflicted and old ones resurface. When I beg for relief and there is not any. When the loneliness threatens to take over. When the bills pile up. When death shows up ugly and cruel. When I had hoped…

I go back to the cross and find that it is still enough.

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6 thoughts on “Overwhelmed by the Ugly

  1. When I was younger, it always shocked me a little when older people would speak of their longing to go home. It felt a little morbid to me. I guess that was before I became so fully aware of how truly UGLY this world can be. Now I can relate! Praise the Lord my debt was paid on the Cross and one glorious day I will get to go Home!!! Another great post, Stacy!

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  2. I don’t watch the news anymore. I rarely pick up the paper. I hide terrible posts on most of the social media outlets. All I want to do is to make that long journey home to see my Mia. The cross is definitely enough, but some days, it seems as though I can’t carry it. When that happens, I have to remind myself that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Great post. 🙂

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  3. Amen, Stacy! The cross is enough. . .
    “And once again I look upon the cross where You died
    I’m humbled by Your mercy and I’m broken inside
    Once again I thank You . . . Once again I pour out my life
    Thank you for the cross, My Friend . . .”

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  4. Here is what I know. My love of the Lord is not based on him doing what I had hoped he would do for me. When I do not understand what he has allowed to happen, I go back to what I know to be true of him. I remind myself of what he has already done for me. The cross was enough. If he never did another thing for me – that one act is worthy of all of my devotion.” So true. Thanks for this beautiful and encouraging reminder.

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  5. Oh my goodness! We have 3 foster children and of course they must attend public schooling for now. The 14 yr. old girl just started high school, comes home from school and says “great!, I have that stupid song stuck in my head now!” … me knowing we don’t listen to worldly music ever!, I said “what song from where?”… She said “on the bus, a song about drinking and carousing!”…I said “oh my goodness! I’m sorry and that’s why it’s very important to pray and spend time knowing God in His word to cleanse your mind!”… She then said, “yeah when we go to school its horrible, because we pretty much are not your kids anymore! We are society’s kid’s influenced by what is around us, the system and their beliefs!”…It made me so sad for her to feel the way she did and to be surrounded by such darkness of sin, that she states it seems to be perfectly normal with everyone, especially those that say they are Christians! Which she states there are many teens that profess but have NO regard to anything of Jesus! All said..,
    I so empathize with your post!
    Bless The LORD that His LOVE COMPELS us to live for Him and not for ourself! We just continue to say, here am I, LORD! Enjoy your post! Elizabeth 🙂 #COMPELLEDBYLOVE
    #2Corinthians5:14-15amen!

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