Please tell me you hide in the bathroom, too. It’s the only place that I can, occasionally, have 60 seconds of peace. Although, if I’m honest, I’m not always alone even in there. Recently, I had a reader ask me what, exactly, I did while hiding in the bathroom. She added a little frowny face as if to indicate her disapproval of this parenting strategy. Whatevs. If I was easily offended I would have sold my third child when she told the lady in the Chic-fil-a restaurant that her mommy wore “really, really big blue panties because she has a really, really big bottom.” Seriously, there is no recovering from that. You just wash your hands and leave.
So, what exactly do I do while hiding in the bathroom?
- I play Words with Friends. Oh, don’t pretend like you aren’t sitting in your bathroom, kids or not, playing on your phone. Honestly, I don’t know how anyone used the restroom before cell phones.
- I read. I have a drawer in the bathroom that is just for me. It has a Bible, my favorite Maya Angelou book and a journal. Hey, it beats reading the back of the shampoo bottle. Am I right?
- I eat. Oh, I know. We tell our kids never to take food in the bathroom. I mean, under normal circumstances, it would be gross. But, let’s be honest, nine times out of ten I am not actually using the restroom. It’s all just an act.
- I breathe. Yep. I sit on the edge of the tub and I breathe in. Then, I breathe out. Sometimes, I hear a kid yelling and I
rush out to see what’s wrongturn on the shower to drown out the sound.
- I think. I don’t know what it is, but some of my best writing ideas come from these brief moments of quiet and semi-solitude. Hence, the journal in the drawer which I mentioned above.
- I use the restroom. Yes, sometimes, I actually just have to go to the bathroom.
So, there you go. More than you ever wanted to know about what happens in my bathroom. So, if you ever need a break, you have my permission to hide in yours. Not only will I not judge you, I will be giving you a virtual high-five while sitting in mine.