Mom Talk Monday: Speaking Truth to Your Children

I am a control freak.

There, I said it.

I like my towels folded a certain way. I like three slightly rounded {but not heaping} tablespoons of coffee in my cup {the one with the cupcakes on it} filled with hot water {from a tea pot and not just warmed in the microwave}. I like the kitchen counters to be clear of clutter. I want clothes hung a certain way on the hanger. Right now, I am packing for vacation and I have stacks of outfits for my kids organized by what I want them to wear on which day.

ABCs

I guess what I’m saying is that I like things the way I like them {usually because it’s the best way.} Oh, I kid. Sort of.

It’s not just little things like whether the toilet paper roll goes over or under {obviously, it’s over} that I try to control. I obsessively try to control situations and outcomes. I analyze a situation and think through all of the options. In my mind, I follow each possible outcome all the way to its conclusion. If I do A and B, then we are going to end up with C. If I choose X and Y instead, then we will find ourselves with Z. 

Something happened, however, that threw all of my controlling tendencies into a tail spin. I became a mom.

No amount of controlling, on my part, can protect my children from broken hearts, disappointments or mean girls. Nothing I do, today, is going to guarantee that my babies won’t deal with financial struggles or job loss or sick children in the future. There is not a magic formula for raising children that promises that they will never make poor decisions and be forced to suffer the consequences.

And it gets harder the older my children become. I nearly have convulsions every Sunday morning when my oldest child says, “Can I just leave my hair down?” In my mind, Sunday mornings are french braids, frilly dresses and cute sandals. Now, I could insist upon a certain look for her. She is an obedient child. But, I have really been convicted regarding my controlling ways and I am trying to be more of a go-with-the-flow kind of gal. {It ain’t easy, y’all.}

Lost River Cave 1

Just this morning, I was reading in Ezekiel. In chapter 2, God gives Ezekiel his ministry assignment and, spoiler alert, it’s not an easy one.

“I send you to a nation of rebels….who also are impudent and stubborn…and you shall say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God.'”  – Ezekiel 2:3-4

This, my friends, was going to be a difficult task {much like your role as mom.} These were people who had rebelled against God in the past. They were disobedient and stubborn. {Anyone ever have a rebellious child? A disobedient one? A stubborn one?}

Ezekiel’s task, however, was not to control them. He wasn’t told to demand certain changes or force them to dress a certain way. His job, in this particular situation, was to speak truth to them. “Thus says the Lord God.” One of the greatest things we can do, as moms, is to speak truth to our children throughout every stage.

Let’s be honest, ladies. Motherhood is a difficult assignment, but we make it harder than it needs to be. We try to manipulate and control things that, in the grand scheme of things, won’t even matter.

Whatever season you are in, whatever the current drama of the day happens to be – take a step back. Loosen your grip just a little. Develop a laser focus when it comes to your motherhood mission. Your task is to speak truth to them. And, if you can sneak in a french braid on Sunday morning, that’s just icing on the cake.

You are so loved.

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